A letter to Joseph

Joseph,

It's been 9 months kiddo, can you believe it? I still feel like yesterday I was waking your Dad up at 5 am to tell him it was time to go to the hospital. 

  I love waking up every morning, knowing that you've got something new to discover, it may be a toy you've forgot about, something new you can scream out, an object to climb or even a new wiggle. It's wonderful to see you change and grow. 

  You are already stubborn and so independent. Nine months in and I'm still not always getting full nights of sleep, but you're worth it. 

   We've had our disagreements already with you wanting to remain naked, and me trying to put a diaper on you. Even when I'm trying to spoon feed you and you just want to feed yourself, squishing everything in those tiny hands of yours. 

  I thought I would cry the day that you started crawling, but my pride just wouldn't let me. Now, you've moved on to scaling the walls, pulling up and standing everywhere you can and even getting brave enough to let go for a good half a minute before plopping to a sit. 

  I don't know what it is with your fascination for doors,drawers and pulling every single movie and book off of your shelves, but I can just see those little wheels turning as you discover how everything works.

  You have made my heart stop more than once just within these past few months, with your urge to climb everything forwards and backwards and your refusal to sit down during bath time. Seriously child, you're stubborn. 

I know your Dad is going to have his hands full, keeping up with you and I! 

   I can only hope for you that you live your life to its full extent, that you explore all of your options and you never give up on your dreams. You are such a bright and happy baby boy. And even though I know years from now I'll be wondering what happened to that sweet baby as you sass me and say "you're the worst parents ever." Kiddo, you're just letting us know we're doing alright. 

 Your Dad and I promise to love you and encourage you through your life, and give you all of the support and laughter to fill your heart, while making sure you Know how to be silly. 

  We love you Joseph, and we look forward to many more adventures in the future. 

Love, 

    Mom and Dad 

Rag Doll

Do you ever just feel like your life is treating you like a rag doll?
You know, one arm being tugged on by one life choice, and the other being tugged on by another?

Like job choices.. Or moving choices.. 

Buy a house or continue to rent.. 

Sometimes I would love to see what the future had in store.. But then of course, I like the mystery. 

I have anxiety. I stress. I'm a Mom. 

My world has completely changed since the birth of my son. 

I'm not the same loud and crazy girl all the time anymore. I've Grown up.. It's what you do. 

I don't like the town we are living in, this is not a new fact..and we'll I know I have made it known. However, I am thankful.

My husband is here, my child was born here. And Honestly, my husband has a wonderful and rewarding job here. 

 I personally wouldn't mind moving back to Texas. Yep.
:: Why don't you?::

We talked about it.. Seriously. We made plans, and even started looking at places in Austin to get an idea of what part we would want to be in..

Conclusion-
Well, it's not what is best for my family.
Yes, I have my parents and my sisters there.. And don't get me wrong it would be wonderful to be back. However, as much as I don't want to be here. I can't help but feel like this is where God needs us to be right now. We are really starting to get a grip of this while "parents" gig.. And right now.. It just isn't the right time for us to leave. 

In due time, we will end up exactly where we need to be.. It may not be Nebraska, it may not be Texas.. Who knows.

I honestly started getting really frustrated and angry at God for the last few months.
I'm battling my own Demons and feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders.
I have the Devil pulling me one way, and God pulling me the other.

I have to cut out the negative in my life. I can't focus! I have my own family now to worry about.

I've spent many nights awake, as my mind wonders and just trying to figure things out. I've been crushed by my job.. As well as other personal situations. 

So I started to Pray. 

During those nights that I couldn't sleep, I would read other blogs from new moms and many Faith writers.. Where I came across a woman's online bible study group.. Just what I needed! 

I've recently joined up with She Reads Truth

Im currently on the woman of the bible..Even though the group is on Daniel, I decided to start on my own.

I started with Women Of The Bible Part1, and cried on almost all of the devotion contents. It really hit me. Hard. 

How can I be so selfish? And Why am I not thankful for God every day?

Honestly, I was frustrated with God and with myself for our struggles.. My husband was having some hardship with his job and we were having a hard time making ends meet.
I was frustrated with God for my battles, my Postpartum  Anxiety and depression made me feel like my marriage was failing..when It wasn't.

I was angry at other life situations. And really contemplating many changes. 

It's all in his timing.
Our struggles only make us stronger, as a couple and as a family.
I have learned so much while "penny pinching" our months away.
I am thankful for the fact that yes we were tight..but we paid our bills..we kept food on the table and a healthy HAPPY baby boy.


There comes a point in life, when you have to do what is best for you and your family.

God only gives us what he feels we can handle. 

What kind of life changing choices have you and yours had to make? 

-Nicole

Give me a minute.

Can we just take a minute to discuss that my 8 month old, has 8 teeth.

8. 

I'm mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. 

 But how can I sit here and think about myself? My 8 month old is cutting teeth.

And I know , we have not gotten to the dreaded molars stage, but seriously.

I feel bad for him, because I can't even begin to imagine the pain he is enduring. 

I just need a second to breathe.

My husband is so wonderful at keeping my head on straight. I'm so thankful for him! 

I know I could be in far worse situations, and trust me I am thankful we are not and I am thankful we have a healthy kiddo.

And once we get all these teeth done with, days will be happy again and maybe nights will be spent sleeping again? 

I can't help but feel almost insane for wanting more kids.

Do I want to put myself through this again? Yes.

Because its only temporary, and the love I have on the good days makes up for it all. 

My child is not defined by his bad days.. And that goes for Life as well.

It's a roller coaster I tell you, and well.. I guess it's a good thing I like roller coasters.

(Photo Credit to Catie. S)  

::Any suggestions with teething and sleep are more than welcome! I feel like we've tried everything from the books and parenting sites. - Thank you!:: 

Southwest chicken- potato Soup

I have this theory, 

soup is good ALL year round.
Yes, I am from Texas..where our summers are the type that melt your face off, and you can bake cookies on your car dash! Lol

Ok, seriously though.. Soup IS good for your soul, Especially when it's home made and simmering all day long in the crock pot, causing your whole house to smell like a spicy heaven!

I posted a picture of my simmering crock pot on my Instagram and had many people ask me for the recipe!
Well folks, here ya go!

(Bare with me, I'm the type of person who find a recipe and tweaks it..soo this is from my tweaking lol) 

 

Please excuse my hideous rental home counter top ;)

You will need

-Crockpot
- 1 can of no salt added Tomato sauce 8oz
-1 Can of enchilada sauce (mild)
- 1 cup cheese of your choice ( I used Monterey Jack- but I'm also obsessed with Colby Jack)
- 2 chicken breasts (no need to pre cook)
- 1Jalapeño     ( or more depending in size and how spicy you want to get)
- 6 small red potatoes washed and diced

As for the spices

-  Onion ( powder or use a small diced onion ) 
- Garlic Powder
- Chili Pepper
-Seasoned salt
- Minced Garlic
- Dry Chives
 -Paprika

In your crockpot, 

Add your can of tomato sauce and your can of enchilada sauce.

Fill each can with water and add the water into your crockpot 

Turn your crockpot on low

I add about two extra cups of water after that depending on how thick I want the soup. You can up to 4cups and be ok!

Add your spices too! I'd say I did about 1tbs to start off of each.

( seriously y'all, I'm an eye ball kind of girl..and a taste as ya go lol.) 

And I may have added a bit more of garlic and onion ;) 

Cut up your chicken breast and your red potatoes into cubes.

Throw them into the crockpot and stir.

Dice up a jalapeño either big or small pieces and add to crockpot

( wash your hands after doing this and don't touch your nose...or lips..or eyes) 

Add one cup of cheese and stir yet again! 

Cover with your lid and let the magic of the crockpot do its thing! 

Aka- leave on low for 5-7 hours 

Stirring once an hour if you can. 

Once you are drooling over the delicious smell and the soup is ready, serve in bowls with sliced up avocados,tortilla chips, a slice of lime to garnish and a pinch of cheese on top! 

*Note*

I have a very picky husband! -sigh- I would have also added some fresh corn (or canned Mexican corn) 

And maybe even some beans! Yum! 

:: My husband suggested adding one of the Creamy Ranch packets to the mix instead of your season salt! 

Try it out, add your own mixtures to it and let me know what you think! 

Scrambled

 I have been kept on my feet and my heart racing these last few days. 

My 8 month old of son has learned how to climb into things.. And out of things. 

Yes, this also means he's trying the couch.. And ALL of his toys/ play areas. 

Oh. My. Goodness! 

No worries.. I make sure he isn't going to hurt himself. 

We're not walking yet. However, I'm pretty sure it will be soon. 

It's currently 1am.. I should be sleeping. I am clearly not. 

My mind is racing and I'm full of so much joy and yet so much sadness at the same time. 

I'm connecting with other whole hearted bloggers. So many kind and loving woman! It's such a wonderful feeling to finally get out there. 

Social media is a beautiful thing, yes? 

Welcome to my new readers! I look forward to learning about you! Please leave a comment with your blog if you would like! 

Also, please feel free to Follow my blog and share with your friends..  

A daily dose of J makes for a healthy Smile! 

Can anyone help me with making this blog a little more on the "fancy" side? 

I've also started a daily devotional with www.shereadstruth.com 

God is so so good, y'all! 

I have been craving some praise here recently, and I have been missing church. 

I was really bummed when we left Texas.. My friend Jewelia and I had just found a church that we really enjoyed.

I know I will find something here, probably just intime for us to pack up and move yet again. Ha! 

Beautiful, beautiful! A reminder that we as men and woman are all equal, and shod treat each other with equality and respect. Let him protect you and let the both of you share your love! 

Also, 

MacBook Air, or MacBook Pro. 

What do you think is a better choice? 

-Nicole

 

Stay at Home Dad

I mentioned in my last post that my husband has a week off of work. The manufacture that he works for took a nice long week off. Just so happens that in that same week, the state fair has come to town! Sadly, we did not go. 

I decided that I would work a full 40 hour again..

So, we switched rolls for this last week and my husband became a stay at home dad. 

Well, the stay at home dad gig is almost up.. and it seems that Adam has really gotten the hang of what Joseph's fussing or crying really means.. Not that he didn't before.. But I think he really feels more confident in his assumptions. 

 

This week has also really helped Joseph calm down on the Mommas boy role. Yup. He will crawl to me or make his way while holding on to the couch to be right at my side. Since I've been working more this week, he is fine with loving on either one of us. And I'm sure there is still plenty more time for Joseph to have his days of only liking Dad or only liking me.. One of us has to be the bad cop here, right? 

Monday was a big house cleaning day for us. Joseph helped my making sure his toys ended up back on the living room floor.. Or random Cheerios through the house. 

Adam broke out the vacuum and Joseph needed to follow him around.. You know, making sure Adam didn't miss a spot. 

I hope everyone has a safe and happy Labor Day! For those of us working, enjoy your time and a half! ;) 

-Nicole